Friday, October 26, 2012

Overachieving at Being Infertile

I’ve always been an overachiever. I was the valedictorian of my high school, I took extra college classes for fun, and I hand made an unhealthy amount of stuff for my wedding. 

So, when Henry* and I set the date for when we would “start trying” (a full year in advance), it was only natural that I turn my obsessiveness to conception.  I immediately checked Taking Charge of Your Fertility out of my public library.  Once I had a handle on my cervical mucus, I followed it with How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby (because, why the hell not?).  I started reading pregnancy and parenting blogs.  I developed opinions on breastfeeding, natural birth, free range kids. 

Six months before T-day, I threw out my birth control pills and replaced them with prenatal vitamins.  In addition to my vibrator, my bedside table now held a purple folder with my Xeroxed charts, a basal body thermometer, and my very own copy of Taking Charge. My plan was to learn about my body by charting to avoid pregnancy, and then flip the switch and get pregnant right away.  I Googled “preconception” and went to my doctor for a physical for the first time since high school sports. I memorized information from Babycenter and started bookmarking cute crib bedding.  My charts looked perfect.  I did a great job of not getting pregnant. 

We started trying in April 2012.  When it didn’t happen the first month, that was ok.  A January baby would have been a little too close to the holidays for comfort.  When it didn’t happen after three months, I started to worry.  I knew the stats; 60% of people conceive in the first three months by simply throwing their birth control away.  We had good timing, how was I behind 60% of people? Toni said to get yourself checked out if you had well-timed sex for “more than a few months” without luck.  I made an appointment for September. 

After month four I broke down crying in front of my mom.  After month five I broke down crying in front of a sweet OB/GYN who told me I was probably fine, but gave me the number of the reproductive endocrinologist she had used to get pregnant.  Three days after I learned that cycle six was officially a failure, I was in his office with an ultrasound wand in my lady parts while my skeeved out husband looked on. 

My ovaries were fine; my blood work was fine.  Then came my HSG. My HSG is a post for another day, but rest assured that I am an overachiever at being infertile.  Go straight to IVF; do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. 

This blog will be about my whirlwind tour of reproductive medicine.  It’s been less than three weeks since that first RE appointment, and this ride shows no signs of slowing down. I hope our happy ending comes just as fast. 

*Not his real name. 

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear you are going through this, I believe I found your blog through babycenter. I read so many of these now that I get mixed up on where I find y'all. We were told IVF is our option as well, not ready to take it on quite yet. Still trying to figure out how to finance it and get pumped for shots. You can do this, we can do this :)
    From a total stranger who will now be stalking you through Google Reader!

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  2. Thanks, Whitney. I agree - we can do this! Stalk away :)

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  3. Just found your blog. I'm having my remaining tube removed this Thursday. Lost the first one in 2010 when my second ectopic ruptured. Now - hydrosalpinx in the remaining one. Looking forward to learning more about your journey!

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  4. I've just started reading your blog. I want to share with your readers that I have had a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy. After which my left tube was removed. Two years after the tubal, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy with no fertility help. My son is almost four, and I am expecting a baby girl in February. I am sharing my story because I hope it encourages someone to keep the faith. I know age can be a factor. I am 36 and so far have not encountered any major problems.

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