Happy Thanksgiving

I don’t consider myself particularly religious, but I do pray from time to time. It seems like a safe bet: saying Hail Marys before bed is just as soothing as counting sheep, and could have the added benefit of getting me into heaven. Win-win.

There was a night during this process, (I can't remember if it was the night after my HSG or the night after my follow-up appointment) when I started to pray as I was falling asleep. I expected the prayer that would come to mind would be a prayer asking for a baby; this was certainly something I’d prayed for many times in the previous six months. I was shocked when what immediately popped into my head was a prayer of thanks, and even more shocked when I didn’t run out of things to be thankful for before I fell asleep. (Although, to be fair, I was taking a lot of Ambien in those early days so it didn’t take long).

In honor of Thanksgiving, here are some things that I’ve thanked God, the universe, the flying spaghetti monster, or whatever for over the past few months.

Yes, that is a turkey cheeseball that I made for Thanksgiving last year.

I’m thankful that Maryland is one of the 15 states in the country with mandated insurance coverage for IVF, and that my insurance covers up to three rounds of IVF per birth.

I’m thankful that my insurance has authorized everything we’ve asked for quickly, and our clinic has helped make everything happen as fast as possible.

I’m thankful that, while I’ve had over $5,000 worth of procedures so far, I’ve only owed about $250 out of pocket, and that every cost estimate I get is lower than I expected.

I’m thankful that, even if my three rounds of insurance-covered IVF fail, Henry and I can afford to do more.

I’m thankful I live in a major metropolitan area, where I am close to good doctors and hospitals.

I’m thankful that I was born in a time and place where IVF is not only possible, but routine.

I’m thankful that I’ve always been fascinated by medical technology, so this whole process seems cool instead of awful.

I’m thankful that vaginal ultrasounds aren’t nearly as bad as everyone makes them out to be.

I’m thankful that my doctor is part of a huge group where he can access the expertise of dozens of doctors, but that his specific office is so small that I see my doctor and my nurse and even my receptionist at every visit.

I’m thankful that we got a diagnosis and got to go straight to IVF rather than having “unexplained infertility” that stretched on for years.

I’m thankful that I’m not allergic to latex, iodine, or penicillin, because it seems like that would be pretty inconvenient.

I’m thankful for a job where I can come in a few minutes late or slip out for some extra time at lunch without anyone noticing or really caring.

I’m thankful that Henry’s boss is really understanding about when he needs to come in a little late.

I’m thankful that our families and friends don’t ask us about babies (much).

I’m thankful that I haven’t gotten drunk and told everyone what we’re going through (yet).

I’m thankful that we have friends at all stages of life - married with kids, married without kids, dating, single - to help us keep perspective.

I’m NOT thankful that my best friend also has fertility problems, but I’m thankful to have her to talk to about this.

I’m thankful that no one has told me that maybe I’m not meant to be a parent, or that I should look into adoption, or that I should trust God rather than going through fertility treatments. And everyone else should be thankful that they haven’t said these things to me.

I’m thankful for the support of my family. I’m 99% sure I’ll never want my sister to carry my baby, but it’s nice that she’s offered (even if it was a joke, and even if her main motivation is so that she can hold it over my head for the rest of my life).  I’m also thankful that I have something to look forward to if my cycle fails: the look on my sister’s face when I pretend I’m going to take her up on that offer.

I’m thankful for Groupon, and for the cheap massage I will be getting soon thanks to them.

I’m thankful that, other than my infertility, I am healthy.

I’m thankful for Google, and the ability to understand what is happening.

I’m thankful that my genetic screening test came back 100% clear.

I’m thankful that, with the exception of my tubes, everything down there appears to be perfectly normal so far.

I’m thankful that Henry and I have a strong relationship and that infertility doesn’t seem to be affecting that.

I’m thankful Henry is still attracted to me even though, biologically-speaking, I’m useless.

I’m thankful I discovered this problem while I’m young, increasing my odds and giving us the chance to have several children.

I’m thankful this is all happening so quickly, while I still have emotional reserves and a sense of humor.

I’m thankful I stopped my birth control pills six months before we started really trying, because my insurance required me to be off of birth control for a year before getting my first round of tests done.

I’m thankful that my two week wait will be over the holidays, which should distract me.

I’m thankful that I won’t be getting all these shots in the abdomen during bathing suit season.

I’m thankful I’ll never have to worry about or pay for birth control again.

I’m thankful that all of our children will be planned.

I’m thankful for the glass of wine I'll be allowing myself with dinner tonight, and the glass of champagne I’ll have with dessert.

I’m thankful for blogging, even if no one reads this.

And, if you leave me a comment telling me what you’re thankful for that isn’t on my list, I’ll be thankful for you, too!