Trapped by Luck

There’s been a rash of people leaving my office lately.  And not just people, but people who came on around the same time as or even after me.  I’m a little jealous, and it’s adding to my frustration.

I actually really like my job, but I’m getting bored.  I’ve done the same thing for about three years, and while I’ve definitely taken on increased responsibilities there’s not a whole lot of room for upward mobility.  Plus, I work for the state so raises have been nonexistent (I’ve been promised one for going on a year now, and it’s going to be at least a few more months until it comes through).  It’s all fine, but sometimes I poke around on job sites, and sometimes I see things that I am tempted to apply for.  But I never do.

Infertility is definitely a huge reason for not getting serious about switching jobs.  For one thing, I have great insurance, and I don’t want to give it up.  Even if my new job had equally great insurance, the idea of moving everything over gives me a headache.  Besides, do I have a “preexisting condition” now?  Or do preexisting conditions not matter anymore now that we have Obamacare?  These are the questions I don’t feel like grappling with.

Also, my job situation is sort of awesome for dealing with infertility.  My boss is understanding about doctors’ appointments without asking too many questions, I have lots of sick and vacation time and an office culture that encourages using it, and I have a door that I can close when I need to make sensitive phone calls.  I’ve also built up enough goodwill and gotten good enough at my job over the past few years that the distraction of infertility isn’t causing any problems.  Believe me, I don’t take any of these things for granted.

In other words, I’m very lucky, but also a little trapped by my luck. 

But, I keep reminding myself that infertility isn’t the only reason I’m not looking for something new.  One completely-unrelated reason for not looking is that Henry is currently searching for his lawyer job, and we might end up relocating.  It doesn’t make much sense for me to be looking for something new when I don’t know where I’ll be living in six months; we won’t move far, but traffic in the DC-Baltimore area can be awful and I don’t want to get stuck with a long commute.  I might as well wait for Henry to get his new job and focus any job hunting on the area where we’ll be living, right?

And the last reason is actually optimistic: I don’t want to make any big moves when I’m so close to having a baby.  Ideally (depending on a lot of factors) I’d work part time once I have a kid, so why go out searching for another full time job when I will hopefully want to give it up in nine months?  I once mentioned to my boss that I’d like to work part time once I have kids, and she was open to the idea of trying to create a way for me to do that.  There’s even a day care on my campus!  What kind of idiot gives up such a perfect situation?

So, for now, I’ll just add “change jobs” to “have babies” on the list of things that other people get to do while I sit here and wait for my life to sort itself out.